I hope you are enjoying the seasonal changes in your area. This will be my first Fall and Winter here in SE Arizona, so I’m looking forward to the changes.
This week’s posting is early but I wanted to get an update out as soon as possible. After much consideration and soul-searching, I have decided to take the rest of this year off. With my divorce and the two moves, my batteries are completely drained…or at least they were when I made this decision. Since I made my decision to allow myself some recuperative time out, I am feeling whole-heartedly that this is the right decision. Things have been much better.
I believe I overestimated the amount of time I would need to heal, and underestimated my ability to produce the quality story I want to tell while doing the healing. The last 12 months have felt like living in a house that has been burned to the ground. And trying to produce Taylor’s Story has been like living in that burned out hull, with construction going on to rebuild the house, and get a decent amount of work completed. Impossible.
I was constantly setting word count goals…first for the book overall, then monthly, then weekly and daily. The thinking was if I broke it down into small enough pieces, it would be doable. Each of these goals would come and go, leaving me feeling like a failure. I was doing a lot of harsh self-talking, at a time when I needed to be allowing myself to heal. Each missed goal became a cesspool of self-recriminations. That monster, Fear of Failure, moved into the burned out house with me and made himself at home. I’m happy to say the Eviction Notice has been served on that particular monster.
My hope…notice I did not say goal *smile*…is that after the New Year I will be able to return to Taylor’s Story. Also, I still need to complete the short stories for the Tales from Nordo…Mathenzo’s and Pacer’s tales. It wasn’t my intention to take so long getting the short stories out there. With luck and time, I’m hoping they will be out there before much longer. One thing I must determine is if I want to continue the IMS series past Taylor’s Story. Until I make that decision, I can’t move forward with that project.
There are other ideas I have for another series…it would be in the Fantasy genre. I will need to do some world building from scratch for this idea to work. *smile* Think dragons, witchcraft, and Mother Nature.
At this stage of “recovery” I need to focus on me and being the best ME I can be, both physically and emotionally. I will continue to maintain my blog, sharing this journey on The Road to a Dream. At the moment, I need to focus on rebuilding that metaphysical house that was destroyed. Please forgive the mixed metaphors.
This isn’t the end of my journey, not by a long shot. I know in my soul that my best years are ahead of me. As I say on my Twitter page…Your dreams don’t come with an expiration date. I’m not down and I’m not out. There is more for me to do and see and experience in this life. This is just a normal and acceptable pause on my journey. I’m going to take advantage of the “Scenic Pullout” here before I continue on. I want to write stories to the best of my ability…but that ability needs refueling.
Until next we meet on this Road to a Dream…be kind to each other…and to yourself!
REACH FOR THE STARS, BLAZE A NEW TRAIL, REALIZE YOUR DREAMS